The Princess and the Pea: The Queen's Story

When my son was born I swore to give him the best I could. I gave him the best of toys, sent him to the best of schools, and promised him the best wedding as soon as he found the perfect princess to marry. Yes, my son is a prince; a prince who is quite deserving of a princess to marry, not some plain woman. As soon as he had finished school, he went out to find his princess.
He came home a few weeks later with a girl who seemed relatively nice, however, she didn’t seem like a princess to me. She wasn’t very pretty and she surely was nowhere near as sensitive as a princess should be. She sat upon the lumpiest chair in the castle and didn’t even seem to notice.
I immediately pointed this out to my son, “She cannot be a real princess! She isn’t sensitive enough. She sat on the lumpy chair and was not even bothered.”
“I don’t feel that that was a decent test,” he retorted. “Let’s try a different one.”
So that evening, after supper, I slipped away with a pea and tucked it underneath her mattress. When she went to bed that night, I didn’t hear any noise from her room until morning when she awoke.
“Did you sleep well?” I questioned.
“Oh yes! It was the best sleep I’ve had in the longest time,” she responded.
No sooner than the words had left her mouth, she was on her way. A girl who could sleep on a pea was not a real princess.
My son was upset for a few weeks but then he went off in search for another princess. He found one that once again didn’t seem to be a real princess. However, they gave her the same test with the pea and the mattress and once again she said she had slept well. This repeated a number of times and yet none of the girls he brought home were real princesses.
My son, the prince deserving a real princess, sulked around the castle for days on end. He felt he would never find a real, beautiful sensitive princess. Until one day, there was a visitor at the castle. A beautiful girl, who had lost her way, stopped to ask for directions.
“I’m sure we can figure it out,” I assured her.
I escorted her in and told her to have a seat while we figured out where it was exactly she was trying to go. But as she sat down, I noticed a disturbed look on her face.
“Is something wrong?” I asked
“Oh no,” she said. “It’s just that this chair is quite lumpy. I would be more comfortable standing.”
My eyes lit up! Could it be? Could this beautiful girl be the princess my son had been searching for? He had to meet her. I told her that it was getting late and insisted she stayed for dinner, sleep here tonight and in the morning, we would send her in the right direction.
At dinner, my son was thrilled by her. It was the most I had seen him smile in weeks. As dinner ended, I excused myself, along with the pea in my hand, and slipped it underneath her mattress. Soon afterwards, I bid her goodnight and resided to my room until morning.
As soon as the dawn broke I hurried to her room to find her already awake.
“Did you sleep well?” I questioned; more eagerly than I anticipated.
“Not in the slightest. Please excuse me your majesty but you should do away with that mattress. There is a certain lump it in that I just couldn’t get comfortable around.”
I was thrilled. She was a real princess! I quickly called for my son. Once he got to the room, I asked her to repeat how she had slept the previous night. As she did, his eyes lit up, just as mine had. It was then that I realized the confusion in her voice and on her face.
“You see m dear,” I began “Only a real princess could be as sensitive to the lumpy chair and the pea under the mattress as you are. You must be a princess. A real princess! You are the perfect woman to be wed to my son!”
She was as excited as we were. She then went on to explain that she was trying to reach another kingdom in which she may find a prince to marry. Her kingdom had been entirely wiped out by an earthquake and she had no one to show her the way.
A week later, they were wed. And as expected, it was the best wedding for the best prince who had finally found a real princess.